I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
