guys are not supposed to queef...right?
smell my finger.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Randomize
