please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
