sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
