4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
