But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize