Ambien. No doubt about it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
