Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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