i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
