My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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