dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
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Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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