Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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