I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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