It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
