guys are not supposed to queef...right?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
