Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize