Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
