i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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