I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
