I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
