i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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