My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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