I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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