While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just high enough for therapy.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
