the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
