i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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