thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
