I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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