was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
