how can u be prego again
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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