I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
