he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
