Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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