youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
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