I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
