the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Semen is not good for contacts.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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