This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
