yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
