I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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