I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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