I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He is an equal opportunity slut.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
