weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
