You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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