omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
there is glitter all over my balls
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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