hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
