I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
