my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize