note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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