I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
