Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
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If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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