quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
