With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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