Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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