Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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