Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
