It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
