Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
