I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
