he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
