if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
