i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
