how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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