i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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