You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
