haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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