Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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