At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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