So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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