I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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