mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Actions speak louder than pants.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
